Dwarfs Versus Ninja - Please Bring Balance to the Force!

Matrix Kung Fu masters, Tiger & Dragons martial artists, Lord of the Ring Elves, League of Legends Assassins, these are the ultimate warriors nowadays. What happened to Conan and real battle hardened warriors?

Last night I watch the new Bilbo movie, and again, one of my biggest torment of the last decade resurfaced: Dwarves are pictured as goofy characters. Sure they are good, but nowhere near as good as the eleves in Lord of the Ring. This article is a plea to restore balance between Elves and Dwarves.

The good old days: Elves vs Dwarves

When you played Advanced Dungeon & Dragons, Elves had a bonus in Dexterity and Dwarves one in Constitution. Both could compete to be the most fearsom caracters of the party! Same balance was found in Warhammer: Elves had a +1 in weapon skill, whereas the Dwarves had a better endurance. Statistically speaking you could even argue that a Dwarf was better 1vs1.

This equilibrium also exist in Tolkien. Legolas and Gimli score similar amounts of kills at helms Deep, and Dwarves of the Iron Hill are evenly matched with Black Forest Elves at the battle of the 5 armies.

Both races are different, but they are equaly as strong. This was the world I grew in!

The inexorable ascension of dexterity based warriors

I don’t know where it began, but here are some of the main offenders:

• Matrix. I like it here as it is part of the plot that you do not need muscles, but it definitevely did set up a disturbing artistic trend.
• Tiger & Dragons and all similar chineese movies… Stop jumping arround and dodging arrows with your hands!!!
• Jackson’s Lord of the Ring: Dwarves are the side kicks, the funny guys. Just degradating!
• Equilibrium: The films that theorizes that with training you can know gunfights patterns and thus dodge bullets… Come on… (Still a great movie!)
• League of Legends: One of the most resistant hero (“tanky”) it a Ninja (Shen). Hello, are you kidding me ? Irelia, Ahri, Fiora dodge your damages and kill you in a few seconds.. Why? Because they are cute and quick!
• In the last version of Warhammer, Initiative, with describes agility, is now one of the most important stats. Now Dwarfs are unable to defend themselves, they are dead before having the right to roll the dices, even when they are the attackers! Have you never know a dwarf, not to swing his axe beofre dieing? Nonsens!
• Can we have a James Bond where a pistol is enough? Jumping and fists seems a bit distracting…
• And please don’t make me start with WW2 movies like Inglorious bastard, where it seems efficient to bring a sword along. Please stop bringing your sword to a gunfight… You. Can. Not. Dodge. Bullets.

Dear senarist, if you are reading this, please give some love to the dwarves and their fellow warriors! Is visual the only important thing in a movie? What about realism?

Hail to GMM Martin and his Song of Ice and Fire. At least there, a big strong man can hit you hard even if you are a fine swordsman. But don’t get me wrong I also like some sneaky characters. Arya for the win!

If you want to restore balance to the force, comment!

EuroExark